Good To Go
by Nirrti
Summary: Starts in the middle of the final battle. Harry leaves Snape to die on the battle field. Recovery and reaction. Years later one character has moved on and the others have to deal with a very different person when their paths cross once more.
1. Chapter 1

The remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix were scrambling over rocks. They were battered, bruised, cursed, wheezing, bleeding and unable to stop until they had seen if Voldemort could finally be responsible for something good in the world.

-----------------------------

Lord Voldemort had absolutely no doubt that he would win the battle. Recent informants had imparted intriguing information; apparently the prophecy predicted not that Harry would kill him, but that either of them could kill the other.

He was at full power. Not only was he in full-bodied form but this form was stronger than his first. The Order of the Phoenix may have destroyed his Horcruxes, his back up plan, but did he really need it? Potter was just a child; he had only just come of age and hadn't even passed his apparition test. He didn't even finish school, cutting his education short because he couldn't cope with his teacher's death – he must remember to reward Severus properly for that.

Voldemort initiated the final battle within three hours of hearing this information. The first hour was spent gathering forces and releasing the prisoners from Azkaban. The second was spent arranging those forces and making sure that they knew what to do. The third was spent killing and torturing the innocent; might as well do something constructive whilst waiting for Potter and his under-educated cronies.

The battle was delicious. He was too wrapped up in his pursuit of Potter to realise that it wasn't all going in his favour. He saw bodies fall but didn't notice that they were his own people. It was slightly disconcerting that the brat managed to block his curses and evade his Avadas but at least he was running. He cornered the boy in a derelict church, the irony didn't escape him. Darkness was about to vanquish a Messiah in a neglected holy sanctuary – he didn't hold back the laugh that echoed hollow through his frame.

The boy had a powerful shield in place, but Voldemort recognised it. It had a finite life, as would Potter when the damn thing failed on him. He used the time to mock and taunt the child who had been the bane of his life. He looked so small, so frightened, so angry. So much for a glorious victory, this was a joke. The boy was only here to exact his revenge over the old man, it was so close to the surface of his mind that it took no effort to see it.

"Still pining for the parents you never had boy? Dumbledore filled that hole, didn't he? You really are a stupid child."

He smiled to see that he was close to getting a rise out of the boy; the shield flickered for a moment.

"If you were less consumed by weakness, by Love," he spat, "then you would have found a way to have what you want. Dumbledore drank the liquid from the Horcrux receptacle, he split his soul. You could have called him back; you could have restored him to life. Instead of solving your problem, instead of pursuing what you wanted – you allowed yourself to be consumed by grief. This weakness is the other side of love and is just as worthless. You have the power to take my life, but not the knowledge to achieve it. Only a great wizard would know how to be done with me, as I know how to be done with you. So here we stand; equal in power but one drenched in love, grief, weakness and ignorance – the other empowered by knowledge and a lack of shackles. Who do we think is going to be victorious here POTTER!" He spat the boys name at him like a curse. He could see the child's mind ticking away; even shielded he could guess that his weakness was guiding his thoughts.

Severus came rushing in, wand equipped and face contorted. He looked vaguely panicked.

"There there Severus, don't fret. As you can see, the whippet hasn't caught his hare yet. Quite the other way around, in fact. Join me; we are playing "wait for shield failure" – care to make a wager on how long it lasts?"

Severus couldn't keep the scowl from his face, luckily the Dark Lord was watching Potter as he struggled to pour in the power to maintain his defences. He mouthed "drop it" to Potter but the damnable boy glared at him as though he had just bitten the head off a bat. Damn him, damn Albus; it was impossible to do this if the boy didn't trust him. He had never trusted him and now there was no chance. He couldn't exactly tell the boy the truth; he'd be dead within seconds. He would just have to act now and hope that the idiot Gryffindor had enough power left to do what needed to be done.

He mouthed the incantation at him and illustrated the wand technique; he just prayed that he had found the incantation in the book and practiced it. That had been the whole point of giving it to him. Even now he couldn't understand how Albus had thought that this would work; they should have just told him.

He moved within spitting distance of the lizard-man and raised his wand, pointing it directly at Potter.

"Now now Severus, let's be patient. We've waited long enough, we can wait another ... oooh ... six minutes."

"Six minutes is too long my Lord. This should end NOW."

With an agile twist of his wrist, he flicked the wand at Voldemort's head.

"Scindo animus"

Voldemort's head whipped round, he moved to raise his wand but his body and soul were already separating and he had no control of his muscles. Severus rummaged in his robes and screamed at Potter, the boy still wasn't moving.

"Potter, for Merlin's sake move boy. Drop the blasted shield and use the curse. You did find it didn't you?"

Potter stared at him, unable to work out what was going on. Voldemort's soul hung grey and translucent above his body, attached by a thin thread. Soon the soul would begin moving back towards its home and then they truly would be doomed.

"POTTER! Effectum animus NOW. Only YOU can do it. Only YOU are equal."

Potter stumbled forward pulling at his wand. He watched confused as Snape poised over the prone body with a vial of potion.

"For Merlin's Sake Potter. This is what we have been working for for years. This is your destiny." He realised that shouting wasn't working; time was running out fast. Any moment Riddle would worm his way back to life and it would all be for nothing, all his sacrifice, his entire life would have been wasted. When he spoke again his voice was soft, soft enough to be disconcerting even to himself. He reached over and pulled Harry's wand from his belt, handing it to him and gently steering him towards Voldemort.

"Harry. Do this and it will all be over. Effectum animus! End this and we are all free. Please Harry?"

Harry finally pointed the wand; comprehension still not registering on his face. Severus moved quickly, hovering the vial over the body again.

"Effectum Animus." Red and gold light shot from Harry's wand, impacting on the grey mist. For a moment, green and silver edged its way back along the beam towards Harry. Severus poured his potion, being sure to cover the full length of the body. Finally! This had so very nearly failed. Dumbledore and his bloody secrets, he knew that the infuriating old codger hadn't revealed the second prophecy. The Boy Who Lived and The Half Blood Prince, the turncoat and the Messiah; would he have believed it anyway? The acrid smoke pouring off the form filled his lungs and he fell back, choking.

An ethereal shrieking sounded from all points around them, echoes bouncing off the ruins. Red and gold conquered green and silver, smothering the grey mist in snake-like twists. The insubstantial mass squirmed mid-air before dissipating.

Snape was sprawled on the ground gasping for air; Harry stared at him for a second and then took off running. Snape was not his concern, he could not afford to think about what had just happened. Who was Snape? What was he? He dismissed the thought.

Hundreds of aurors and mediwitches were sweeping the battlefield. Harry watched through a haze as Dementors were captured, Death Eaters bound and the injured moved hastily to ... Merlin knew where ... there were too many for St Mungo's. He supposed they knew what they were doing.

"Harry. Blimey mate, am I glad to see you. 'Mione said she saw you running from You Know Who and I didn't wanna think about ... well ... alright mate?"

"Never better!" Hermione limped up behind Ron, smiling broadly. She wrapped her arms round Harry and squeezed him tightly.

"Er, Harry. You Know Who, is he You Know What?"

"Oh Ron," Hermione frowned, "Of course Voldemort's dead. Do you think Harry would be standing around here chatting with us if he wasn't?"

"Oh. Yeah, right. I mean, well done, er..."

Harry smirked, life edging back into his eyes.

"Yeah. He's gone. He may even have done some good."

Hermione's frown deepened, Ron looked scared and concerned.

"Er, Harry mate, are you okay? Did he do something to you, when you ... you know ... did it?"

"No. He didn't do anything to me, I'm fine. No really, I AM fine! He thought he was going to win, was damn sure of it and he was saying all this stuff to me, about love and grief being weakness and how I could have saved Dumbledore if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my feelings. He was right in a way." He held up a hand to stop their interruptions, "He told me something I didn't know, that none of us knew. He didn't think that I would get a chance to use the information, but he's fried – literally – and here we are. Dumbledore isn't gone; we can bring him back. You good to go?"

Harry turned and began striding across the field, he closed his eyes briefly as he stepped over bodies but he didn't stop. Hermione and Ron just stared at him for a moment, slack jawed in amazement. Studying each other briefly they took off after him, frantically waving as they went to signal other members of the Order. Soon they were well past the battlefield, Remus, Tonks and the Weasleys caught up to the trio in time to hear Harry call a destination.

Tests withstanding, they all managed to Apparate. Only Ginny needed a lift, she sighed with relief as her father pulled her tight and she felt the tug behind her navel. At least she wasn't being left behind again.

-------------------------

Standing before the basin again, Harry remembered the last time with horror.

"What should we do Harry?" Hermione whispered in a frightened voice. They were all tossing nervous glances at the "things" in the water; the general feeling was one of unease.

Harry and Remus caught each other's eyes, each pleading with the other to know what to do without giving away too much emotion. Arthur broke the tension.

"Right. Well. You three are the experts in these Horcrux things, so ... how about we ..."

Hermione looked desperately at Ron.

"Dad ... we ... er ... well, we only ever destroyed them. We never actually used them. That would not have been good ... I mean ... You Know Who and all ..."

Ron's eyes widened as he continued this thought inside his own head, boggling at the possibility of two Voldemort's.

"Er, Harry? How do we know that ... HE ... didn't mean for you to ... well ... bring him back. Perhaps D-Dumbledore isn't ... you know."

Harry continued to stare at the basin. Reaching beneath his robes, snapping the chain as he pulled the locket from around his neck. Dangling it over the basin, he offered.

"I don't know how Ron, I just know. When Voldemort said it, it just ... made sense. Dumbledore wouldn't just go, not just to get Snape back into the inner circle."

"Harry dear?" questioned Molly, "What do you mean? Severus ..."

"I don't want to talk about it now." He dropped the chain and the locket tumbled into the basin, which frothed and churned. The Order watched frightened and pensive as the green liquid whirlpooled, the churn rising up from the basin and swirling in mid-air. A sharp cry echoed through the cavern; some heads turned, some ignored it. Arthur, Remus and Hermione were watching as Fawkes came swooping through the cave to land on Harry's outstretched arm. How he got through, no-one questioned. Hermione opened her mouth as though she would, but Molly's hand on her arm silenced her and turned her attention back to the basin.

The swirling liquid had raised up to a height of nearly seven feet above the basin now, when it began to flatten out. It undulated, becoming more viscose; stretching like bubblegum pulled to its utmost capacity by invisible fingers. As it became more rectangular in shape it took on the consistency of something which they had all seen before. The veil spread before them, stretching upwards from waist height – wafting gently in some otherworldly breeze.

No breath remained unheld. Harry had no idea what to do next. Did he reach through? Did he call? If so, what name should he call? Professor? Headmaster? Dumbledore? Albus ?

Fawkes cried out once more and Harry reached, not with words or form but with his mind.

A hand reached through the veil, old veined and surrounded by drapes of red velvet. It was there but somehow not, ghostly. Harry reached forward to take the hand but passed right through it. He drew in his breath sharply.

Dumbledore stepped half-way through the veil. Fawkes shrill cry rang out for a third time and his claws dug forcefully into Harry's arm. He lifted his arm higher as Dumbledore lowered his. Harry wondered for a moment, how he was going to pass the bird to a ghost.

Phoenix tears fell swiftly upon the outstretched hand, which seems to shudder slightly as the droplets failed to pass through. The hand gained texture and spread in dimension as the solidity rippled its progress along the arm and form, travelling backwards through the veil. Dumbledore stumbled slightly as his solidified form completed itself. He looked up to meet Harry's eye, smiled warmly and stepped fully through – his hand clasped firmly around another.

Sirius.

----------------------------

Minerva all but squawked as the rag-torn bloodied group fell through the doors of the castle.

She was kneeling on the floor attending to the wounds of a student before she dared to levitate the stretcher. A volunteer mediwitch hurried over and took the patient from her care wordlessly.

Minerva then limped hurriedly towards the group, her hand brushing gently against each of those she could reach, eyes conveying more than words dared to stumble over. She grasped Harry in a tight embrace, thanking all the Gods that she had never believed in for his safe return. When she opened her eyes, they rested on the two forms bringing up the rear of the group. White and black, composed and slouched, dead and yet here. Her knees nearly betrayed her as they threatened to give out, stifling her own sobs she tentatively reached out a hand - and felt firm flesh and heartbeat beneath her fingertips. Allowing the sobs to wrack her body she fell into the soft twinkling embrace that opened to welcome her.

She didn't dare let go of the old man, but grasping him tighter reached out again and grasped Sirius' fingers, offering him a smile that threatened to break free from her face; her eyes remained tinged by the sorrow that seemed to subsume her soul. It would have been amazing to see such sorrow and joy combined in one expression if it wasn't the prevailing feeling in everyone.

Dumbledore was eventually the one to break the silence.

"We should all get some rest. Those who have not been as lucky as ourselves will need our energy come the morning. I assume that we are now a hospital."

The gentle enquiry was to Minerva, she nodded sadly.

"There are so many Albus. So many children."

"But they are alive. They have a good chance and we will all do our best for them."

His smile should have been reassuring but Minerva was not convinced. They had not seen the carnage of flesh and blood that had surged through these doors for the past three hours.

"I need to go and check..."

Albus gently held her hand to halt her departure, his eyes following the line of blood on her robes to her own injury. Instinctively she pressed a palm against the wound on her side.

"It's nothing ... not compared ..."

"And tomorrow, when you are healed, you will be able to say that truthfully and be of greater help."

Back five minutes and already giving orders, Minerva mused.

"I thought death was supposed to be the great equaliser."

Albus chuckled, Sirius almost barked with laughter.

A young mediwitch hesitantly edged into the group and addressed the Headmistres, the only person of authority whom she recognised.

"Excuse me Professor. We were wondering, as we are running low on some potions, whether there might be anymore in the dungeons? In the potions stores?"

"Yes, I believe there are some." She handed the young woman a key, "Mind you only take what is recognisably labelled. I have no idea what else Severus might have kept in there, but there are undoubtedly some nasty surprises. The password is "Redemption"."

"Severus." The Headmaster barely breathed the name, but everyone heard him and turned. The mediwitch was scuttling off down the corridor already as the Headmaster became agitated.

"Where is he?"

Various responses snapped back;

"Who cares?""Dead, I hope."

"With HIS Lord!" "I hope they caught him."

"Filthy traitor."

Albus eyes flamed before the insults flying around him.

"Severus acted under my direction. ALWAYS!"

Minerva stared at him aghast, "Albus, he murdered you. I admit that seems to have less weight at this particular moment in time, but that betrayal.."

"Was planned."

Arthur spoke up softly now, "Albus, he was standing by Voldemort's side. I saw him myself."

"He had to." This time it was Harry who spoke up; all eyes turned incredulously to him.

"He was there. At the end. He helped me finish it. Without him ... I wouldn't have ... I couldn't..."

Dumbledore laid a hand on Harry's arm,

"Harry. What happened? Was he hurt?"

"He... he couldn't breath ... the fumes ..." Harry hung his head, "I left him ... I just ran."

Dumbledore nodded sadly. Then with greater strength and speed than he had mustered since passing through the veil, he turned and headed towards the dungeons himself – the group felt themselves dragged along in his wake. Over his shoulder, Dumbledore dismissed some of them to bed.

"Arthur, Molly perhaps you could make sure that these youngsters make it to their beds. Sirius, Tonks, I suggest you get some sleep also. Harry, Remus – you may come with us."

The four of them made their way rapidly through the dungeons towards Severus Snape's rooms. Harry wondered why they were going there. He had left Snape choking in the ruins; either he would be on his way to one of the makeshift hospitals, or Azkaban or he would be dead.

There were no wards and a fresh trail of blood disappeared under the closed door. Albus knocked and predictably there was no response.

Entering the room felt like an intrusion. No-one but Albus had ever felt comfortable in these quarters, nor had they been welcomed.

Harry sighed with relief when he saw the Potions Master curled up in a chair by the roaring fire. The fact that he was curled up was slightly disconcerting and it occurred to Harry that the man probably wouldn't want them to see him in such a vulnerable position.

Albus was striding across the room. He reached out a hand to his friend's face and was overwhelmed by sadness. Swirling around, he grasped the goblet on the table and sniffed at the contents.

"Vacuus Poena" Minerva, antidote – NOW."

Harry's mind swam through the fog that surrounded the thoughts that he tried to formulate. Snape had committed suicide. Was this his fault? He vaguely noticed action hustling around him and forced himself out of his reverie.

Remus was propping Professor Snape up and trying to make him walk, but the man was definitely unconscious if not ...

"Is he dead?"

"No Harry, not yet. He must only just have taken it, but it will act quickly and we must act quicker if we are to save him."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Minerva limped in through the door at breakneck speed, vial in hand. Remus stopped walking the man around and Albus steadied them both as Minerva tipped the contents of the vial down Snape's throat. There was a muffled gurgling sound and then Snape was spluttering and coughing. Some of the potion sprayed spittle strewn across the room, igniting briefly in the flames of the fire, but most of it stayed down.

Snape grasped at the arm of his chair as he tried to stop himself from collapsing onto the hard dungeon floor. He was gasping for breath through a dry throat, fear and confusion evident in his darting eyes.

Albus pressed a glass of water upon him and made him drink, as he collapsed back into the armchair his eyes settled on Harry. The boy felt that he ought to say something, he had left this man behind to his death and he had ended up seeking it out for himself.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. There was so much more to say, but he didn't know how to say it, or if it would make any difference. The world had shifted.

Snape's eyes widened briefly, he gulped down more water and held the boy's stare. When he spoke it was a weak rasp,

"Potter, for once something was not about you. For Merlin's sake. The sheer bloody arrogance. Do you not believe that I can think for myself boy? That something could actually be about someone else?"

Albus' eyes held a painfully evident sadness that ripped at the hearts of those around him. Snape assumed it was pity and felt himself tumbling deeper into the depression that overwhelmed him. Interesting that even in death he could not escape from himself, from his life. Even death looked like Hogwarts.

"My dear boy, I have done you such wrongs. No-one should have been asked to shoulder the burdens that I have forced upon you. I wish it could have been another way. I wish I could have taken better care of you."

Severus said nothing; he was thinking about whether the afterlife would be any better. Would he be trapped in some eternal Hogwarts with all the deceased students. Oh Merlin, would he have to teach the same dunderheads for the rest of eternity? He groaned aloud at his thoughts and collapsed further into his chair. He laid his head back against the support of the padded velvet and massaged the bridge of his nose.

"Tell me Potter. How did you manage to get yourself killed, surely The Boy Who Lived didn't just blunder off into a stray curse."

When he question met with no response, he looked up to find himself surrounded by confused frowns.

"Uh ... I'm not dead Sir."

Albus knelt down in front of him and gathered Severus' hands between his own.

"Severus, you are not dead. We found you in time."

Severus groaned as the reality impacted, this time with a growling frustration. Albus looked to Minerva with alarm, Remus had his hand on his wand in case he needed to restrain the suicidal Professor.

"Leave," the command held the same force as it might usually, despite being whispered instead of bellowed.

"Severus..."

"LEAVE. NOW. GET OUT."

"My dear boy, I don't think ..."

"How do you think Albus? How is it that you are here?"

Harry shuffled nervously, Snape's glare switched focus towards him.

"The bloody Messiah raises the dead. How typical." He paused for breath, "Albus, You have my word that I will not kill myself, now GET OUT."

Severus felt the old man skimming his mind and for once he allowed the intrusion. The Headmaster staggered backwards a little at the force of grief, guilt and pain that he found there. Severus had never before allowed his barriers down. Dumbledore staggered towards the door, waving the others along before him. He glanced over his shoulder, desperately worried about the young man and overwhelmed with guilt. He was at least assured that the man would still be alive in the morning, for that he was thankful.

----------------------------

As the morning light streamed in splintered beams through the castle windows, its occupants were already dashing about in their uncommon chores.

Mediwitches buzzed efficiently through the corridors. Professors calmed students in search of loved ones. House elves took food and drink to those sequestered in the makeshift wards of the towers and Albus Dumbledore amazed everyone by simply being alive as he made his way down to the dungeons.

On the mantle above the fire was a prominently placed parchment in Severus' hand. The old man's heart trembled as he took the note and carefully unfolded it.

_Albus,_

_I am no longer needed and I find that I cannot bear to be here any longer, cannot bear to be me any longer._

_I have gone. Please do not look for me._

_Do what you will with my possessions, I donate them to school. _

_Severus_

Albus looked around the room, an unbearable sadness gripping his heart. The letter did not state whether he was going to a new life or to death, but the fact that Severus had left all his belongings did not bode well.

Severus' robe hung limply from a hook by the door. A book lay open on a tall coffee table by the fire. A stack of essays, unmarked from before the battle inside the school, sat on his desk and next to them lay Severus' wand – broken clean in two.

The Headmaster sat down with his head in hands and wept.

--------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

Harry and Ron still hadn't stopped laughing by the time they had all apparated to their location. The D.E.A.D (Death Eater Arrest and Disposal) raids had thrown up some interesting clothing combinations; Minerva in Doc Martins and cut off jeans being possibly the most memorable. When the Dark Mark Tracer had pinged up a hit outside Amsterdam, they had all been about to head off on a picnic together (Hagrid's choice of how to celebrate his engagement to an outsized dragon tamer) and they decided that as they were all there and it was half term, they would all go. Hagrid stayed behind to meet Talitha and let her know about the change of plans. After rushing off to change into Muggle gear, they had gathered outside the school wards to apparate. It was Dumbledore's appearance that had precipitated the hilarity. He had never been on a raid before and from what they could gather from his choice of outfit, he had never had to blend into Muggle society before.

Dumbledore seemed completely oblivious to the giggling men. Hermione tried to hush them but the smirk behind the scowl seemed to hamper her chastising abilities. Dumbledore wandered away following the Dark Mark signal, orange kimono skirt flapping around the tops of his furry boots. The accompanying Hawaiian shirt clashed garishly pink against the tangerine skirt. He had rolled his beard up till it had the appearance of being an ordinary length, but two plaits hung out the back of his straw sunhat.

Composing themselves they followed in his wake. As Remus passed them he leaned in slightly to whisper, "This is Amsterdam you know!" As this was only met by bemused stares, he clarified, "He may not 'blend in', but he won't stand out either."

They came to a ramshackle building that reminded Ron somewhat of the Burrow, only more colourful. The place had obviously started out as a large but dilapidated house. At various times it had been 'added to', none of it necessarily in keeping with the rest of it. The main part of the house was painted with a cream peach base over the top of which had been painted Picasso style beasts from Muggle mythology. The original shutters had been replaced with wrought iron constructions that were comprised entirely of snakes and there were iron sculptures jutting out from random points all over the house. On the left side of the house a circular stone tower had been added, it would not have looked out of place at Hogwarts, here however it looked bizarre.

A large studio had been added onto the right side of the house, mostly wooden with a front made entirely of glass. The studio was filled with large scale paintings and sculptures of glass and metal. Dominant through the arched window was a three dimensional recreation of the Dark Mark.

Sirius cursed, "Shit. That is so blatant."

"Bit weird though," Ron put in, "I mean, you wouldn't put Art and Death Eaters together would you? If you tried to think what job a Death Eater might go for, you might think prison warden or psychiatric nurse or social worker but artist wouldn't spring to mind."

Hermione tutted loudly, "What about Damien Hirst? He was a Death Eater and an artist. He opened his exhibition of pickled foetuses and excretion murals on the same night that he slaughtered five families in Birmingham. The Aurors were still trying to get the Muggle government to release the foetuses to them to match them up to women who were believed to have been held in the dungeon at Malfoy Manor when the storage facility was burned down. That was the second time they'd covered up his 'art' with a fire."

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Ron decided action was probably better than musing and opened the gate. They all moved towards the front door, as Ron knocked loudly and moved back to stand with the others.

A small woman in paint stained overalls answered the door and smiled welcomingly. She had dozens of tiny multi-coloured plaits coming off her head in all directions, like a rainbow Medusa and had the look of someone who went on Peace protests. There was some humming and haing from the assembled Order members and much shuffling of feet.

"Hello? Can I help you?"

Dumbledore stepped forward and extended his left hand. The woman seemed nonplussed for a moment before extending her own left hand. Everyone could clearly see that there was no Dark Mark on her arm.

"We are looking for a particular person and we believe that they might live here. I wonder if you can help us dear? This person used be a kind of soldier, but they might not have told you this."

"Sure. If I can, but there's only my husband and I and our kids here. I'm an artist and my husband writes fantasy novels. Neither of us have ever been soldiers, Sebastian used to be a teacher and I've never done anything else for a living. Do you want to come in?"

"That would be most kind. Perhaps you know who used to live here. Have you lived here long?"

The Order followed the woman through to a large living room. They sat or perched on the odd collection of beanbags and sofas whilst she grabbed jugs of homemade lemonade and a stack of plastic beakers.

"I hope this is okay, we don't really have enough proper glasses for this many people."

"This is wonderful. Did you make this yourself?"

"Uh, no. My daughter Livia made it. She wants to be a chef, she's very good actually."

"How old is your daughter?"

"She's nearly eleven. Um, you wanted to know about the people who lived here before but I don't really know a lot. My husband bought the house before we met; it was a complete shell. Apparently it had been abandoned for about forty years. There had been squatters but we've been here for twelve years now. Sebastian bought it fourteen years ago."

"Just after the war," Harry muttered. Sirius nodded and Remus looked quizzically, he hadn't caught what Harry had said. The woman had though.

"War? What war? Oh, you mean The Gulf War? Is that where this soldier served then?"

Hermione attempted to move the conversation away from the war.

"This soldier is electronically tagged. We picked up the signal located in this house very recently – today in fact."

The woman frowned, "But nobody has been here today. Nobody at all, except the postman this morning."

"Perhaps your husband had a visitor that you were unaware of. Would it be possible to talk to him?"

"Of course. He just went to get some shopping, he should be back any minute. I'll go and ask the kids if they've seen anyone hanging around, they might have noticed something."

She headed for the large wooden staircase at the end of the room, she glanced back briefly.

"My name's Jude by the way. Jude Bezoar." Then she disappeared up the stairs calling for "Livia", "Alban" and "Zinia".

Minerva looked thoughtful, "Bezoar. That's a tad Wizardish for a Muggle family, don't you think?"

"Absolutely Minerva," smiled Dumbledore, "We do not, however, know anything about the family, so it would be unwise to make assumptions. Sebastian could be a squib, or a wizard who opted out into Muggle society. His wife seems to know nothing of wizard-kind."

Remus frowned, "Well, that isn't exactly true Albus. She has made a whopping great sculpture of Voldemort's calling sign."

"True true. It is possible that Sebastian is the one we seek. I am merely trying to suggest that we keep our minds open until we know anything for sure. Innocent until proven guilty and all that."

The front door slammed shut and a tall man came in laden with shopping. His long black dreadlocks obscured his face and he was facing away from the visitors as he dumped his packages on the long table that occupied the other end of the room.

His dreadlocks hung limply down his back over a simple green linen top. He was wearing patched over-worn wide legged jeans, scuffed and torn around the bottoms; he kicked off some well scratched boots and padded barefoot to the merchants chest bureau in the corner to pour himself a glass of cider.

They had all seen the Dark Mark, unobscured by the sleeves hiked up above his elbows. Tonks silently rose to her feet, wand in hand and edged towards the man. They all stood; Harry and Ron edged in with Tonks, Remus and Sirius moved in back up behind them. The man turned and dropped his glass in shock as he saw the Order members closing in around him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he shouted.

"Severus, my dear boy. How wonderful to see you."

Dumbledore pushed past the Tonks, flattening her wand back against her forcefully as he moved to grasp Severus in an embrace.

"Sebastian. My name is Sebastian now. Do not call me Severus. What do you want? Why are you here?"

Footsteps on the stairs heralded Jude's return.

"Ah Seb, you're back. These people came looking for some missing soldier, something about a tag and following it's signal to here. Apparently he's been here today. The kids haven't noticed anything by the way."

As Jude mentioned tags, Albus motioned towards Severus' Dark Mark, making quite sure that Jude didn't see him do it.

More footsteps on the stairs caused everyone to look round. Three black haired, wide eyed children met their gaze. They came tumbling into the room full of toothy smiles and excitement. The eldest girl spoke first,

"Hello, I'm Livia. Are you the ones looking for the soldier?"

"I'm Alban, I'm six and three quarters" started the boy, only to be interrupted by his little sister.

"I Zinya, I four," she declared proudly. Alban scowled at her, a perfect imitation of his father.

"Is the soldier dangerous? Does he kill people? Are you going to stay here and protect us? I can do kickboxing," he demonstrated, "I won a medal. But I might need help against this soldier guy 'cause Mummy and Daddy don't think you should hurt people, not even if they've been bad."

Livia nodded, "Mummy helps the people who want to ban the death penalty all over the world. She had "Love and Peace" painted on her car. We're 'hippies'."

Severus groaned and Jude fixed him with a quizzical look. He turned it into a cough.

"Jude. Why don't you take the kids out to get some ice cream and I'll see if I can help these people. Okay?"

"Okay. Come on kids, grab some sandals and sunhats." There was instant activity as the kids ran past her towards the front door, waving goodbye to the visitors. Zinia climbed on a chair to kiss Daddy goodbye and he wrapped her in a warm hug before kissing her and sending her for sandals. Jude kissed Severus/Sebastian as well,

"Do you want anything darling?"

"No, I'm fine. Have fun."

Looking concerned, she gently stroked a dreadlock behind his ear and kissed him again.

"Okay, back soon," and with a swish and a bang of the door they were gone.

Severus just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do, then he gestured to the sofas and everyone returned quietly to the living room. He sat cross legged on the floor and poured himself a beaker of lemonade. He nursed the cup for a minute in the following silence before speaking.

"You followed some signal from the Dark Mark?"

"Yes," answered Tonks, "we found a way to track them. Same energies that Voldemort used to signal but without activating the Mark itself. We've tracked down a lot of Death Eaters this way and brought them to justice."

"Sent them for 'the Kiss', like they deserve," Sirius added.

Severus mused for a moment, "I assume that this is a mistake; you haven't come after me specifically?"

Dumbledore beamed brightly at him, "No Severus, we did not come for you. I am ever so pleased to find you well though." A little sadly, he added, "We did wonder what had become of you. After you disappeared..."

"I thought I was quite clear. I wanted to change my life and that is what I did. I came here to Amsterdam, changed my name, bought this house and started anew. What did you think I meant?"

"Severus, you tried to commit suicide."

There were a number of startled looks at this information, Ron and Tonks had known what had occurred but no-one else had been let in on the secret. Sirius looked horrified but remained silent.

"You were depressed, guilt and grief ridden, suicidal and you disappeared leaving all your belongings and a cryptic note that could have been interpreted as a suicide note. You broke your wand." Dumbledore's voice was breaking, uncharacteristically, with emotion. Severus looked up, stunned.

"Albus, I never meant for you to think that. I swore to you that I wouldn't kill myself, when have I ever broken a promise to you? Breaking my wand was supposed to be a sign, to show that I had left the wizarding world. I haven't done any magic for fourteen years. I live as a Muggle. My family doesn't know anything about the wizarding world. My wife only knows that I was a teacher in a private school in Scotland, I never expected to encounter anyone from my past. Never have in fourteen years, before now of course. Amsterdam doesn't have a wizarding school, so the children didn't need to know – there will be no letters flying through the window after they turn eleven. Damn."

The front door had slammed. The children sounded hysterical and Jude was trying to calm them down as she ushered them into the living room. Severus jumped up when he saw her face, she was plainly terrified and had a gash on one side of her face.

"There were these men, they looked like the Ku Klux Klan, only they were dressed in black – like executioners or something. They shot something at me, it it .." she collapsed in tears against Severus as he wrapped his arms around her. He shot an alarmed look in the direction of the Order. Harry and Tonks had already moved towards the window to check out the street outside. Albus held up his Death Eater Detector; it was glowing and humming.

"They had wands Daddy, like wizards in films" Alban cried. All three children had gathered round their parents, clinging close to the couple who were now sat on the floor. Severus tried to stop the bleeding from her cheek. Minerva had had enough, she pointed her wand and uttered the healing charm. Jude's cheek healed itself back up in moments. She and all three children stared at her, incapable of processing what was happening.

"Death Eaters. Four of them. They've marked the property in some way and then apparated. They obviously mean to come back when we aren't here." Tonks was bristling efficiency. "Severus, you and your family can't stay here, it's not safe."

"They will come to Hogwarts." Dumbledore declared.

Severus was furious, "We will not. This is our home. We can't be forced out by...by..." Words failed him, he didn't know what to say without sounding like a lunatic in front of his already frightened and confused family.

"Who's Severus?" Jude asked looking directly at her husband.

Severus sighed. Albus laid a hand on his shoulder and then sat down on the floor with them.

"Sebastian is Severus. There are things about your husband that you do not know. Things that you might never have known if we had not come here today. He didn't want you to know because he wanted a new life when he moved here. Unfortunately, these people have found him here and they will want to hurt you all, if not kill you. I wish I could make this easier, but Sev...Sebastian will explain more when we get to Hogwarts. You will be safe there."

"Hogwarts?"

"It is a school, in Scotland. Your husband used to teach there, I am the Headmaster."

"I thought you were with the army, looking for soldiers."

"The people who hurt you are the soldiers that we are looking for."


	3. Chapter 3

"No Albus."

"Severus.."

"Sebastian!"

"Oh for goodness sake Severus, does it matter?" Albus may not be losing patience, but Minerva was. This was ludicrous. Severus Snape living as a hippy, dreadlocked and refusing his own name, not to mention the safety of his family; it was insane. "Death Eaters attacked your wife. They've marked your house. They know where you are. Who cares what you are calling yourself. You cannot honestly think that you can stay here?"

Severus slumped backwards on his beanbag, his yogic calm flailing. He anchored that calm in sharp white light behind closed eyes and willed away the whole day as a bad dream.

"This is not happening. This is all a dream. Buddhists are messing with the dream scape. I've had too much goat's milk this week. It's a twisted form of invisible theatre set up by some old therapist who wants revenge for whatever headfuck I gave him. It's a drug induced flashback; I'll give up weed. I'm still at the Wicker Festival rat-arsed on mushrooms and I am screwing with my own head. There is no place like home. There is no place like home. There is no place like home."

"Bastian, are you okay baby?" Having shuffled the kids upstairs to gather essentials, she squatted down in front of Sebastian/Severus, crossed her legs and took his hands in hers. Sebastian/Severus sat up and rested his forehead against hers.

"No hun, I'm not. My worst bloody nightmare just drifted down like a blood-soaked flag, over all of us and I don't know what to do."

The Order members found perches, seats and beanbags upon which to wait. Dumbledore motioned Minerva to sit quietly, which she did with the minimum of huffing. They waited dumbstruck, not by the events, they dealt with those all the time. They waited dumbstruck, by this Snape. He was not at all the man they remembered. He sat quietly, intimately connected to his bizarre muggle wife, who was far calmer than he was, despite him actually being calmer himself than any of them would have thought possible.

"So, truth me up."

He laughed, a kind of desperate hopeless laugh. "It's a big fucking truth."

"I gathered that. Go. Start with 'Severus'"

"My name. My original name. Severus Snape."

"Okaaay. The rest?"

"It's too big."

"Give me the "Ten worst punk rock hits" version. We can do the Discovery Channel version later."

Severus took a deep breath, pulled back, looked deep into his wife's eyes and started speaking.

"Number one. This is the biggest really. No drugs. No flashbacks. Magic is real. Wizards and witches and monsters, bogeymen under the bed."

He watched for a reaction and got none.

"Jude?"

"Muggles and squibs and house elfs, oh my!"

"What did you say?"

"Muggles and squibs and house elfs, oh my!"

"But..."

"Dad."

"Brian? Huh?"

"He's a squib. My grandparents were magically inclined. Dad wasn't. Hence the bizarre family."

"You never said."

"Neither did you."

"Hmm. How much do you know?"

"Enough for the top ten hits to make sense without sounding like you're talking in Arabic. More truth."

"Voldemort"

"Moldy Fart? I know that name, Grandpa told tales about him. Your damage?"

"I was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. A group dedicated to bringing down Voldemort "

"Moldy Fart. Go on."

"I was spying on Voldemort, as a Death Eater. I was a teacher at Hogwarts, it's a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland. There were two prophecies made. Two people to work together to destroy Voldemort. Two powerful wizards. One was Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, he's sitting behind you. The other was me. We killed him. The Death Eaters still roam free. I guess I am one of their prime targets, now that they know that I'm alive. The Death Eaters always worked against families, even their own. If I'm a target, then so are you and the kids. I don't want to leave our home, but I think Albus and Minerva might be right, there doesn't seem to be a choice."

"What do we need to do?"

"You aren't phased at all, are you?"

"Seb, my father was a wandering storyteller, I grew up in a bloody campervan. I can do revelation and relocation deaf, dumb and blind with my hands tied. As for secrets, so what? We all have memories that we'd like to stick in a box and forget about, but we can't, so our decisions on how to move on in life define who we are. How does this define you? As a brave man who conquered his demons, abandoned his foundations and sought to build something stronger and safer upon which to live a good life. It didn't work. That's not your fault. What we have is movable, so let's get safe. I'll get some cousins to sort out the house and all our stuff. How are we travelling?"

Severus looked flummoxed. His hands flapped wildly as he sought for something to say to his far too calm, far too informed wife. They were learning things about each other that neither had ever imagined broaching and it was all fine, all normal, all comprehensible.

"I don't know. Albus?"

He looked over at the old man, begging for guidance.

"We will apparate."

"I don't have wand. I haven't done any magic since I left Hogwarts. I have squib wife and underage children who have no experience of magic beyond reading Lord of the Rings. How exactly do you expect us to apparate?"

"We can do side-along apparition. There are enough of us to take one of you each. I'll take you, Minerva can take your wife and you will have to entrust another with each of your children,"

Said children re-entered the room at a frantic pace, each armed with stuffed bags and cuddly toys. Albus chanted out a few spells, calling photograph albums, documents and family mementoes to him, shrinking and stashing them. There was no proper time to explain to the children, who stood goggle-eyed in the wake of their own personal Gandalf-experience.

Jude calmly ushered the children closer to the Order members.

"Okay kids, we are going to do something remarkably strange now. We are going to travel by magic. Stay chilled and Daddy and I will explain everything when we get where we are going. You trust us right?"

The children all nodded.

"Well, these guys are all old friends of your Dad's, we are in trouble and we need to go somewhere safe. They are going to take us there. Everyone ready for an adventure?"

The nods continued.

"Good. Okay, we're good to go!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Where is everyone?"

Auriga Sinistra looked up at the little man with a vacuous kind of scorn in her eyes.

"How the hell should I know? I was enjoying the silence."

Filius chuckled and after dismissing Sybil and Jack Yerren, the muggle studies teacher as sources of information, looked over at the mountainous bulk that was Hagrid and his fiancé.

"Rubeus, do you know where everybody is?"

"Order biznis. Found 'nother a those mark signals, di'n't they? Gone off 'untin' it down."

"Albus went with them?"

"Yeah! Said he ha'n't bin afore an' he wanted to 'ave a go."

Filius chuckled at the old man's unquellable exuberance. Well, if anyone could handle themselves, it was Albus. He was surprised it had taken him so long to tag along, especially since the Order had relocated its headquarters to the school. The Ministry was against the move, but they had never had any control over Albus or the Order and Albus had the backing of every important wizarding society and council. The children must be kept safe at all costs, they were the future after all and the constant presence of Harry Potter and his cronies, in addition to the coming and going of friendly Aurors certainly ensured that the children were unlikely to follow in shadowy footsteps whilst they were at the school.

The doors of the castle could be heard slamming closed from the Great Hall and everyone looked up as the wanderers scuffled in for dinner. Hagrid was on his feet before the others and Filius clambered up onto his chair to make certain that he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.

The Order members were drifting apart and heading for the table, opening the view of Albus and his companions. At a distance, they could see what appeared to be a family of muggle travellers, a fifty year old dreadlocked hippy, a rainbow coloured grinning medusa and three feral-looking hyperactive children who were shouting about everything they saw. As they drew nearer, the Professors battled internally with paradoxical desires to cry out and surrender to the silence of shock. They quickly recognised their old colleague under the muggle makeover. Sinistra recovered first.

"Severus Snape, you absolute shit. You're supposed to be dead and what in Salazar's name are you wearing? Have you no self respect?"

"Auriga. Good God woman, you haven't changed over the years, have you? Do not swear in front of my children please."

Filius began spluttering with warmth and happiness however, which was somehow just as disconcerting. Jude just grinned at everyone as they expressed surprise at the former Potions Professor's presence.

"Hi! I'm Jude. I'd say Bezoar, but it looks like it's really Snape. I'm Severus' wife."

"Wife? Oh my, and these little ones are yours Severus?"

"Mmm. Livia, Alban and Zinia."

He had Zinia perched on his hip but she was oblivious to the conversation as she leaned back as far as she could in her Daddy's grasp to stare at the ceiling.

"I like magic. Magic's pretty."

Severus tried to make her more upright so that she could see the other Professors. His existence and physical appearance seemed to be enough of a shock as it was without them thinking that his children were rude. Zinia squealed as she caught sight of the little man and then collapsed into giggles.

"Trumpkin!"

Filius looked confused. Severus smirked at his daughter. He was aiming for an admonishing frown but her sheer unadulterated joy was too much for him. There was no way he was going to be able to deliver the personality that they were all expecting, so he just smiled at his daughter and kissed her head. Alban jumped in with the explanation.

"Trumpkin's from Narnia. He's a dwarf. He goes on this adventure with Lucy and Edmund, kind of like a Norse Saga but with talking animals and stuff. There's this mouse called Reepicheep and he's like this wicked little pirate. I mean good wicked not bad wicked and…"

"Alright Alban. Perhaps you could lend Mr..?"

"Flitwick. Filius Flitwick."

"Perhaps you could lend Mr. Flitwick the book once we have gotten settled in. I'm sure he's not following you."

"Oh, it's quite alright. It was obviously meant kindly and I'm rather intrigued now. I'm not a dwarf though, young man. I'm human, but I have a bit of goblin in me too. which is why I'm so little."

"Goblin? Goblins are real? That is so cool. What else is there? Are there Centaurs? Unicorns? Basilisks? Chimera? Sphinx's? What about Dragons? Oh, please tell me that there are dragons."

"Good Lord Severus, what have you been teaching your young boy?"

"Nothing. Nor would I have if the blasted death eaters hadn't turned up. And it's Sebastian now, it has been for fourteen years."

"I think you're going to have to give that one up honey. There's only me here that has ever called you Sebastian and I get the feeling that that won't change. I can handle Severus."

Severus grunted and sat down at the table, suspiciously eying the food as though it would jump up and bite him. Zinia climbed onto his knee and grabbed some pumpkin juice.

"Punkin."

Alban crawled under the long table and sat next his father, watching with wide eyes as the table filled up with all kinds of goodies. Albus quickly claimed a place next to the children. He wanted to get to know Severus' children but he had also noticed that the house elves were sending amusingly shaped food and tempting treats to the area around the children. He picked up a dragon shaped pastie and bit its head off before putting it on his plate. Alban giggled and copied the old man, staring intently at him to see what he would do next.

"What's your name?"

"My name is Albus Dumbledore."

"That sounds almost the same as mine, I'm Alban Bezoar. They start and end with the same sound, like double rhyming."

"So they do."

"Alban was a pagan who saved a Christian priest. They didn't agree or anything but Alban didn't think he should die just because he believed something different. In the end he put the Christian guy's cloak on and died in his place, so that he could get away. I think he was stupid, but nice. I'd like to think I could be that brave, but I wouldn't be that stupid. I'd try to run away with him or kickbox them all to pieces. They couldn't stand up to the mighty power of the dragon, a bit of Bruce Lee and HI-YA, pile of bleeding bigots. That's who I'm named after."

Severus smiled and leaned down towards his son.

"Actually it's Albus who was named after Alban of Verulamium. The man you were named for is sitting right next to you."

Alban and Albus turned twin amazed stares towards him, before Alban burst out laughing.

"That is SO wicked. I'm named after Gandalf."

Albus looked confused.

"Gandalf?"

"From Lord of the Rings, it's my favourite book, well four books. Gandalf was a wizard in Middle Earth. He had long white hair and a long white beard and he went off and made this little hobbit leave his home. Hobbits don't like leaving their homes. Then they went on this big adventure with an evil dragon and he got a magic ring from Gollum, whose name is really Smeagol, he was a murderer but he was good in the end. Anyway, years later, Gandalf went back and got the hobbit's nephew, who now had the ring and told him that he was some kind of chosen one, like a messiah and that he had to go on an even bigger adventure than his uncle and he ended up fighting a really evil Dark wizard called Saruman who wanted to take over middle earth and kill off all the races that he didn't like. But the new hobbit, Frodo, fulfilled his destiny and stopped him, with the help of some wicked friends but not before Saruman killed Gandalf. The really really cool thing is that Gandalf was just too cool and important to just die like that, so he came back to life and carried on as before. He led a battle charge and everything."

Alban collapsed into a fit of giggles and slapped the table.

"Daddy said that we didn't have a Granddad from him, but he got my name from someone who he thought of like a Daddy. If my name came from you, then that makes you like a Granddad…"

Zinia interrupted, pulling on Albus' beard and cooing "Granddad, granddad."

"Granddad Gandalf."

Alban collapsed into a fit of giggles that he couldn't recover from and Jude ended up slapping him on the back and trying to get him to take a drink of pumpkin juice as Zinia just chanted "Granddad, granddad" over and over again as she tried to get closer to Albus. Severus tried to untangle child from beard and calm the chaos. Livia quietly sat and ate, watching as everyone stared at the little boy. She noticed that the man with messy hair was staring intently with a look of amazement; she wondered why Lord of the Rings made him look so surprised, the basic story was pretty much all over the place, every fantasy novel that ever existed was the same and most religions too.

Livia was a little cross. She knew that Mummy had noticed because she had squeezed her hand and smiled at her, the kind of smile that begs you to play nicely with the gross and horrible kids just for today because it would be polite and it wasn't for long. It didn't make things better but you knew that she would be proud of you if you could carry it off. She tried not to think about magic yet. It was everywhere and she could see that there was no way to argue with its existence, it was irrefutable and obvious. But the fact that her Daddy had lied to her took priority. No secrets Daddy. Daddy who explained grown up things to them properly. Daddy who had never said that the sun was going to bed when they could make models of the solar system instead. Daddy who never fobbed them off with the excuses that their friends got fed, who never made them do something 'because he said so' and who explained their punishments because it was best to understand why something was happening and what it was supposed to achieve. Daddy, who defined her universe, had lied. She hadn't even known his real name and it was quite a cool name, like the Roman governor of England. What else was there? The soldiers, the men had said that they were after Daddy, they were bad guys and he'd fought them in some war. She should have been told that Daddy had been in a war. Was he a hero?

She slid into Mummy's seat while she was helping Alban to stop laughing and choking. Zinia had climbed in the old man's lap and was hugging him and burying herself in his beard. Livia put her hand on top of her Dad's and squeezed. He looked down into her sad and confused face and immediately pushed his chair back, pulling her up onto his knee.

"Liv, I know that you are confused and upset but I didn't do this to upset you. You're upset because you think I lied aren't you?"

Livia nodded and sucked in her bottom lip, trying with all her might not to cry. She buried her head in her Dad's shoulder and sniffed. Alban and Jude and just about everyone else at the table, were now listening to Severus talking to his daughter. Father and daughter didn't notice though, their focus was tightly restricted to each other.

"Livia, my Princess, I had a horrible time fighting a very big war. It was a bit like Alban's book about the rings but much more horrible. A lot of people died and I had to help kill a very bad man. It's not nice having to hurt people, even if they are bad and it hurt me inside. It made me very sad, like I could never be happy again and I wanted to be happy again. I had to get away from the places that reminded me of it all and I couldn't start a new life with my old name, the bad people would have found me like they did today. So I chose a new name. I promise that I have never lied to you. I changed my name, it is my name. If I have to change it back, then so be it, but I didn't lie. I have left out a lot of things because I wanted you to grow up safe and happy without feeling sad about all the horrible things that I knew were in the world. I know that this is a big shock and you don't know how to feel, but I am here and your Mummy and brother and sister are here and we are all safe and that is all that matters. I'm sorry that I've made you sad, I love you very much. Will you forgive me?"

Livia nodded as she let out a sob and snuggled deeper into her Daddy's arms. Severus held her tight, cheek to cheek, as though trying to fuse their souls together with the sheer force of love. A sniffle signalled the end of the emotional bungee-jump.

"Can you mend your wand?"

"No darling; a broken wand doesn't work properly. It's probably been thrown away anyway. I could get a new one, but I shall have to think about that. It's been a long time since I did any magic; I'm not sure that I want to."

"Well if you get a new one, you should turn everyone into frogs because they're all watching us and STARING IS RUDE AND SO IS LISTENING TO PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS."

She glared at the Hogwarts staff. Severus took her chin between finger and thumb and turned her back to face him.

"So is shouting at people whom you have only just met, who are helping and looking after us. It is rude to eavesdrop and to stare but being rude in return doesn't help does it?"

"Sorry."

"It's alright. It's been a hard day. What say we go and have a look at where we are sleeping tonight? Albus, is there somewhere that I can get the children settled?"

"Oh yes, of course. There is a suite of rooms on the third floor that should be large enough."

"The Zozimus Suite?"

"Yes, do you remember where it is? I could…"

"I remember."


	5. Chapter 5

"We should just turn him over to the Ministry!"

"Sirius!"

"What?"

Hermione refused to be intimidated by the feral glare that Sirius brought up in defence against her objection.

"Sirius, you are fully apprised of all the facts surrounding Albus' unfortunate encounter with death. You are here because of it, despite your own stupidity. You have seen Professor Snape and his family. Small children cannot act that fastidiously…"

"His could."

A cold hard frown settled itself onto Filius Flitwick's countenance. It was not an expression that his face was accustomed to and therefore looked all the more intense because of the unfamiliarity.

"How dare you! Severus' part in the war has been explained numerous times by the Headmaster and by Harry. His family should be proof enough for you. There is no magic on this earth that could conjure such unadulterated honesty, an honesty which has clearly been taught to them by their parents. Sirius, you were given much latitude when you were at school because of you family history and your placement in Gryffindor. You have proven your merit with the Order, but do not assume that mere friendship with Mr. Potter's parents is enough to grant you totalitarian decree over all. You do not have carte blanche to dictate the "goodness" of others. Even Albus has enough darkness in him to warrant questioning. Severus was on OUR side of the war. If he had not been then it would not be finished. Although I am rather inclined to think that he may have been able to sway matters in the other direction, should he have chosen to do so. For goodness sake, have you looked at his life at all?"

Sirius sunk into the armchair but was determinedly unabashed.

"He was Death Eater…"

Albus slammed his cup down into its saucer, shattering both.

"Enough! Sirius may not have carte blanche to declare the "goodness" of individuals but I believe that both Harry and myself have been afforded that privilege, no matter how dubious such a discernment may be considered. Severus acted under my orders at all times. I have reiterated this numerous times in the past and I shall repeat it again. I shall even make my pensieve available to those who do not believe that Severus objected to the events which I prescribed. Severus and his family require our help and protection and they DAMN WELL deserve it!"

Albus fairly screamed the last part of his rant, which caused him slight embarrassment as a hesitant knock sounded against the inner door of his office. Other than Severus, all of those who could conceivably bypass the gargoyle were in the office with him.

"Come in"

Severus peered around the edge of the door, taking in the Order meeting which was evidently in session.

"My apologies Headmaster. I can return later, when it is more appropriate."

"Severus. No, please do come in. Your timing couldn't be better."

Severus raised a solitary eyebrow. He had not been able to hear the specifics of the conversation but it was clear that he had interrupted an argument.

"Sir, I have no wish to intrude upon Order business."

"You are still a member of the Order Severus; you have every right to be here."

"And every right to choose not to be! No offence Albus but I am not a part of this world now. I am only here to ensure the safety of my family."

"Severus, please, come in, take a seat."

The aged hippy reluctantly moved further into the room and perched on the edge of a vacant chair. He didn't meet the eyes of anyone save the Headmaster.

"Severus, your children are delightful. I am sure that they must make you very proud."

Severus met his old mentor's eyes and froze for a moment before accepting the status quo. He nodded and offered a vague smile.

"They obliviate my past. They cement the future in flesh and enforce my own values upon my actions. I do not know whether that makes any sense but they have changed my world. Jude dragged me out of the pit in which I deposited myself but the children, Livia specifically, brought me truly to life. I cannot properly remember a time when they were not with me. I can, but it holds no meaning. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone other than myself."

"Of course it does, my dear boy. I remember when my own children were born, it felt as though the world had shifted slightly to the right of any normality that I had experienced before. Mirabelle was pregnant with Granville when I went against Grindlewald for the final time. I had never been more scared. Not because of Grindlewald but because I was risking my life when I was to be a father."

The room had stilled as Dumbledore's words were recognised. Only Severus, Filius and Minerva had known of Albus' family before this point. Gaping would be the obvious description of the assembled audience but as none bar themselves were aware of their own individual reactions, it seems superfluous to mention it.

"There is nothing more life changing than becoming a parent. It is not an allegorical statement to say that the world shifts, it does! What one creates for one's children defines one more than any other act in one's life. Defeating Grindlewald was nothing, defending against Voldemort was nothing, combating the darkness in each vulnerable student was nothing – what defined me was creating the world as I wished my children to perceive it. Teaching them how to go about their lives; there is nothing that can teach one more about life than examining how one interacts with it in order to train a child to be better than everyone who has come before them."

Dumbledore lapsed into silence. Filius smiled up past his eyes. Minerva looked contemplative but amused and recognisant. Severus met the old man's eyes and nodded, he allowed himself a shallow laugh and gritted his teeth against the onslaught that might come from the rest of the group, content in the knowledge that at least one amongst them understood where he had been.


	6. Chapter 6

The 'cousins' had dutifully packed the contents of the house and workshop for transportation to the castle. Grandpa Brian proved beyond useful and after 'liberating' his own father from a Wizarding retirement village in Wales, had turned up at Hogwarts with all of the Bezoar's possessions in tow, much to the delight of Albus who managed to reacquaint himself with an old housemate.

"Slytherin! You were in Slytherin?"

Albus looked more amused than ever as he helped himself to a glass of pumpkin juice. Livia looked confused and furious at the same time.

"What's wrong with Slytherin? Daddy was in Slytherin."

"So was Voldemort."

"And Gramps and Granddad Albus!"

Sirius looked nonplussed for a moment as he faced off against the young girl. He didn't want to admit that he liked her, but he had never met a more honest child. They were all honest to a fault. Something that he could willingly attribute to their mother, but in evidence it seemed to come more from their father, which he had a problem with. The big problem though, was articulating his own problems, because when it came down to it, the Snapes had the winning ticket when it came to honesty and he didn't seem to be able to tear it from their grasp. And now, here was the Snape wife's grandfather and Albus Dumbledore reminiscing about their time in Slytherin. Sirius felt that he would choke on his own vomit if he actually managed to keep food down long enough for it not to cut off his air supply.

Harry and Ron looked equally horrified, only their food seemed to be more inclined to slide down their chins and back onto their plates until Hermione thumped a hard wide wooden heel onto a foot apiece. Minerva cast them a chastising glare and transfigured their serviettes into baby bibs, which sent all three small children into fits of giggles.

Severus wiped his own mouth to smother his amusement. Jude however was frowning at her grandfather.

"Jude, have I done something wrong?"

She frowned silently for a moment and then gestured to her family.

"You disappear off into what we are told is a Care Home because you 'needed full time care', which actually turns out to be a Wizarding retirement village. We haven't seen you over Christmas since before Zinia was born and have to travel all the way to Wales to see you. Now here you are levitating sculptures which I have to hire a crane to move to a gallery after beaming yourself and Dad and all of our stuff here. When we beamed over to Hogsmeade, we all had to be taken by different people. So I am assuming that what you did was pretty powerful, which begs the question 'why have you been pretending to be a crippled old man' and why couldn't you just beam over to see us?"

"Beam over?"

"I can't remember the word…"

"Apparate"

"Thank-you. Don't avoid the question."

"I wasn't trying to. I understood that your parents had raised you entirely muggle…"

Brian choked a little on his food and looked a little sheepish.

"Well, I may have told them a thing or two. It was Mary who didn't want them to know really."

Jude's frown deepened. Severus gently took hold of her hand and squeezed reassuringly before turning to his father in law and Jude's grandfather.

"Perhaps this would be a discussion to have in private." The thought "don't you ever talk to each other?" drifted through his mind but refused to take hold. After all, he really didn't have any moral ground when it came to hiding one's magic.

After lunch Severus gathered the children together and took them off for a walk into Hogsmeade. The promise of a visit to a sweet shop, a pet shop and a magical joke shop managed to sway them away from their visiting relatives. Severus hoped that Jude would get the answers she wanted whilst they were away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxHPxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Albus Dumbledore lifted the tapestry and stood quietly for a moment just staring at the door in front of him. There was a time when he had come down here every night, hoping that it would all have been a bad dream or that what had happened could be undone. Many nights had found him crying for that which was lost. Selfish tears for himself and empathically spun tears that came through realisation. In the end he had had to choose his own sanity because continuing the ritual would have surely worn away at it and he would have sealed himself in with the power of grief.

A softly spoken word opened the tomb that he had created to his biggest guilt. Cold air and dusty stagnancy churned out into the corridor. The smell overpowered like a mixture of decomposed rodent and stale milk. Albus couldn't help but feel that the scent was fitting.

The room was reminiscent of the bedrooms of dead children, where the mother has preserved the last moment of life for eternity, refusing to let go in case she ceases to exist without the memory of destroyed joy and eternal pain. This was no child's bedroom though and the darkness exemplified the more tragic and depraved nature of the guilt. No mother would send her child into hell to play tag with the Devil but he had. So the room had sat in this state for over a decade. Not depicting the last moments of a child's joy, not cataloguing costumes from school plays and enshrining much loved toys but symbolising his own mistakes and failures.

Where the soft downy dressing gown of a beloved son would hang, a blood stained Death Eater robe was crucified on the door stile. There were no fairy tales on the book shelves, the well thumbed here were all survival manuals against dark creatures and darker arts.

The dried remains of Dreamless Sleep sat in place of a water jug and the bed was stark, bare of bear, symbolising the nature of 'alone'. There were no windows for an external perspective, all walls brought the occupant most introspectively away from the rest of the world, but on the shelf where a windowsill might have sat lay the one item that might have been found in the world of a beloved son. The glass tubes and rubber bungs set up to decant oil from a plant to a vial. More than reminiscent of a muggle chemistry set but for the deadly poison that had once been decanting there.

Albus had left it intact, untouched. Broken wand and obtuse note still where he had dropped them in his horror on the first day. He shuffled around the room, trying to decide just what it was he was here to do today. He had meant to do something, prepare them, offer them back or just wipe the past a little cleaner as time was allowing it. But now that he was here all he could remember was a few desolate moments when his beloved boy had opened up the Pandora's box of his mind and released the torment. Stooping to pick up Severus' last letter he couldn't help but think that, for himself, hope had most definitely been locked up inside these walls.

But Severus had escaped, taken only hope with him and now, maybe, this macabre mausoleum was no longer necessary.


End file.
